It pays to learn to be a nicer particular person.
But it surely’s not at all times simple.
If you’re confronted with a problem to your social expertise, do you act like a cornered wolf and clam up, or do you attempt to be kinder and make the opposite particular person really feel comfy?
Are you a curmudgeon who takes out your negativity on others as a result of being form appears like letting down your guard?
Being a nicer particular person doesn’t simply make you extra likable and interesting to others.
It additionally makes you a extra assured, happier particular person. And happiness is addictive — and catching.
Who would wish to be much less blissful?
And the way nice is it you could make somebody’s day higher simply by being good to them?
You’ll be able to even change somebody’s life for the higher.
If you happen to’re in the least inquisitive about why and methods to be good generally — and even when somebody pushes your final button, learn on.
What’s a pleasant particular person?
The phrase “good” makes some people cringe, as a result of someplace alongside the road, they picked up the concept niceness is little greater than politeness for its personal sake with a touch of pretend curiosity.
It’s not.
Nicer persons are extra nice to be round — not as a result of they’re good at faking friendliness however as a result of they deal with folks the best way they wish to be handled.
There’s a cause why folks distinguish real niceness from the faux semblance of it. Good folks take pleasure in being that means.
People who find themselves a real pleasure to be round deal with others with politeness and real kindness.
They use humor solely to make others extra comfy. And so they’re fast to sympathize with others and specific gratitude than to make snap judgments and criticize or complain.
It’s not at all times simple to be good.
However there are methods to turn into a nicer particular person.
The way to Be a Nicer Individual in 14 Steps
1. Present up on time.
If you wish to be nicer, arrive on time.
Punctuality reveals respect and consideration for the folks ready for you.
They produce other claims on these valuable minutes you’re losing once you present up late. Guard their time as jealously as you do your individual.
Don’t get within the behavior of exhibiting up late, making excuses for it, and wrapping up with one thing lame like “It’s simply who I’m.”
It doesn’t assist your case; it simply ensures that others will get the message that their time is price zilch to you.
Genuinely good folks put others first. Exhibiting up on time is an effective begin.
2. Don’t criticize or complain.
Nobody desires to be round individuals who complain on a regular basis. I’m not saying you may by no means complain; generally, it’s cathartic to rant to a trusted good friend about one thing that’s bothering you.
However when each sentence that comes out of your mouth is both a criticism or criticism, the negativity might be overwhelming — and in no way nice to be round.
So, take into account your phrases earlier than you communicate and attempt to make them extra encouraging, constructive, and sympathetic.
Don’t be fast to move judgment on anybody primarily based on an assumption you maintain (disguised as a reality), however attempt to see issues from their perspective.
And spend extra time listening. Everybody could also be welcome to your opinion, however your opinion is probably not welcome to them.
3. Be fast to assist.
If you meet and even anticipate the wants of others, most will discover and respect it, though they might not say something in response in the intervening time.
Even when nobody acknowledges your kindness, it nonetheless issues. It makes you a nicer particular person.
And in relation to acts of kindness, these don’t all need to be grand gestures.
Maintain the door (or elevator) open for others. Mop-up spills so nobody slips on them. Discover water, tissues, and so on., when somebody wants them.
You would possibly even supply to assist lighten somebody’s workload should you’ve completed yours.
4. Present curiosity in others.
Being a nicer particular person means exhibiting real curiosity within the different particular person’s pursuits, beliefs, and customs. Spend time asking considerate questions and actively listening to their solutions.
Resist any temptation to criticize and even flippantly joke about beliefs and customs that differ from your individual.
A part of being a nicer particular person is respecting the totally different cultures, traditions, and beliefs of others and avoiding any semblance of ridicule or judgment.
If the opposite particular person has an accent you’re keen on to listen to, it’s advantageous to allow them to know you do, so long as you’re not interrupting them or abruptly altering the topic from one they’re deeply serious about.
5. Don’t make all of it about you.
Nobody desires to speak to somebody who usually hijacks the dialog and turns it right into a rambling monologue: “That jogs my memory of after I…” or “That is no totally different from after I…”
When every thing another person says turns into a launchpad to a different story about your self, it doesn’t imply you’re a horrible particular person. All of us have our stuff to work on
However the subsequent time you may have a dialog, attempt to catch your self once you’re tempted to steer it in a extra acquainted course. Spend extra time listening and asking considerate inquiries to encourage the opposite particular person to proceed with the subject of their selection.
Genuinely good folks don’t flip each dialog into an excuse to speak about themselves; they use them as a chance to be taught extra concerning the different particular person.
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6. Apologize sincerely.
When a genuinely nice person offends someone — inadvertently or because that someone caught them at a bad time — a real apology is never far behind.
It should go without saying that “I’m sorry, but…” is not a real apology.
So, begin by acknowledging the offense and telling the other person that you’re truly sorry for what you said or did, and you hope they’ll forgive you.
There is no “but….” Do what you can to make amends, and listen to them if they need to say something in response.
7. Don’t gossip or speak ill of others.
This is Nicer Person 101. Genuinely nice people don’t gossip or spread unkind rumors about other people. They also don’t go around asking pointed questions about someone else to get others talking and making snap judgments.
You’ve heard the saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” It applies here. So does the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you want to be treated.”
The same goes for pranks and jokes at someone else’s expense. If you wouldn’t appreciate it as someone on the receiving end, don’t do it — no matter how funny it sounds to you.
8. Show gratitude.
Genuinely nice people tend to express more gratitude for the blessings they enjoy — whether it’s the beautiful day, the great food, the helpful waitstaff, or the fascinating project they get to work on.
They also make a point of thanking others for their time, attention, invitations, thoughtful gifts, etc. Some go all out and make handcrafted thank-you notes for everything. Others are quick to send a thank you by email, sticky note, or text message.
Match the thank you gesture to the thing you’re thankful for. If someone saved your life, you might do more than leave a sticky note on their computer screen. But buying someone a car because they bought you a coffee might be overkill.
9. Show thoughtfulness.
Nothing says, “I’ve already forgotten why I’m talking to you, random person,” like forgetting someone’s name when they’ve just given it to you.
Granted, we all have moments when something going on in our heads prevents us from paying enough attention to process and retain the name of the person we’re talking to.
But there are ways to help ourselves remember those names, and if you’re committed to being a nicer person, it makes sense to do what you can.
Also, if it’s appropriate, use friendly gestures that show interest and even affection, if there are grounds for that. Give hugs or shoulder touches if you know the other person appreciates them; otherwise, don’t.
Show an appropriate and genuine degree of interest and friendly warmth.
10. Be authentic.
And finally, be the real you – only nicer. Being mean isn’t in anyone’s DNA, and being miserable is no one’s life purpose.
Be the person you want to be and know yourself capable of being. And treat others as though they’re already the best versions of themselves.
There’s nothing fake about genuine niceness, and people can often sense fake niceness from a mile off.
You don’t have to be cheerful all the time or to pretend everything is awesome. Just be real with people, and treat them the way you want to be treated.
So, be your authentic self, but read the room, and look for ways to brighten someone’s day. And if someone criticizes you, know your worth, so you can respond with humility and grace.
11. Be encouraging.
One of the most gracious ways to be a nicer person is by encouraging someone else. It’s easy to focus on ourselves and our own problems or goals.
But when you genuinely want someone else to succeed or get through a difficult time, you reveal a level of emotional intelligence not all people possess.
Make it a point to build up those who feel down or insecure. Give them a reason for hope or a positive word to boost their self-esteem. If you have a friend or co-worker trying to reach a goal or finish a project, an encouraging word can be just the impetus this person needs to press on.
12. Offer advice only when asked.
If you want to be a nicer person, don’t offer unsolicited advice — even when you know your advice would be helpful.
Most people don’t like being told what to do and how to run their lives. They feel empowered when they can figure out solutions and make decisions on their own. And they will learn by their mistakes.
You can impact others more by setting an example with your own choices and behaviors. And if you are asked for advice, offer it gently without making the other person feel small or stupid.
13. Smile more.
Your sincere smile will immediately communicate that you are approachable, kind, and easy to be around. Smiling makes you more attractive to others, and they will immediately be drawn to you.
When you put on a smile, you’ll notice people respond more positively to you in all situations.
Smiling releases endorphins and other natural mood elevating chemicals so that you feel happier and therefore more available to be nice to those around you.
14. Be compassionate.
When you’re able to relate to the suffering of others and desire to relieve their suffering, the recipients of your compassion will view you as a kind and caring person. So will those who witness your behavior.
Compassion is a powerful trait that reveals you aren’t being nice just for the sake of appearances. You really care about those around you and want to help them.
Final thoughts
Has this article helped you understand how to be a genuinely nice person? Have we succeeded in shredding the idea that “niceness is fake”?
You know when someone is being “fake nice” to you, but that doesn’t mean being nice is just for superficial people.
You can (and should) be nice and be an authentic person. In fact, being a nicer person makes it easier to be your true self. It also makes it more rewarding.
Take some time today to practice one or more of the steps to becoming a nicer person, and look for some way to brighten another person’s day.
It could be something as simple and brief as a genuine smile, or it could be brewing a fresh pot of coffee when you see the empty carafe.
Be your nicer self today, and keep working at it until it becomes second nature. And may your thoughtfulness and authenticity influence everything else you do today.
